The Art of Getting Out of Your Own Way
For almost twenty five years, I had a career that allowed me to travel the world. What this did, together with my degree in Communications and my studies and intense interest in different people and cultures, is it gave me an opening to understand how different people live and what makes us happy. I could see from culture to culture the good, the bad and the ugly. What I found was the happiest cultures always had a strong connection to other people, were not quick to find fault in others, and knew how to create joy and community wherever they went. No matter what was going on around them, certain people and cultures were able to create joy even during the worst of circumstances.
I share this because it gave me insight and made me question, as an American, what is it about our culture that is detrimental to our relationships. I began to reflect on how we have created lives for ourselves that are so busy that people don't even realize they are not fully present. What happens to our relationships and our lives when we are not present? Life can begin to lose its meaning. We don't even know why we are doing the things we are doing or having the breakdowns we are having because we don't give ourselves time to breathe, let alone reflect, on what it is we are really creating and what kind of relationships are we building.
Everything in life is based on relationships, beginning with our relationship with ourselves. Since we cannot "fix" others, the only thing we can do is "fix" ourselves. This means implementing daily practices that allow us to live the most love-filled life possible despite what is going on around us. It means we focus our awareness on our own patterns and behaviors so that we are fully conscious of how our own behavior positively or negatively impacts those around us, and we learn to identify and manage toxic influences so that even when we are surrounded by negativity we don't let it hinder our own nurturing or let it take away from what we want to create for ourselves. This is self love and self care at its best.
All good relationships begin with improving our relationship with ourself. We must start with self compassion, empathy, self discipline (especially verbal) and learning to change our thought patterns so we can get out of our own way and create not only the relationships we desire, but the fulfilling and successful lives we desire. As one of my favorite quotes says, "Being love, versus giving or receiving love, is the only thing that provides stability." If I had to choose another quote that describes what some of the benefits of coaching are, it would be "What you meet in another human being is the projection of your own evolution." Only when you can see a reflection of yourself in each human being, can you really come to know yourself. Coaching is often the first step in coming to deeply know yourself, but it is only one part of the journey. May we all become the love we want to see in the world, may we start with ourselves, and may we all be working to building better relationships starting now.
Certified Coach in Katherine Woodward Thomas's "Calling in the One" - 49 Days to Love
Author of "Cheerful the Angry Chicken", a story to inspire children to believe in their dreams (coming soon on Amazon)
Training with Susan Stiffelman (Parenting), Arielle Ford (Relationship Mastery), Jean Houston (Quantum Powers), Katherine Woodward Thomas (Conscious Uncoupling, Evolving Love, Coaches Supervisory Training), Marianne Williamson (Miraculous Relationships and Tears to Triumph)
B.S. degree in Communications
Public Speaker on Personal Development - Learning Self Mastery through identifying self-as-source patterns that hinder personal development